Lately it has been a struggle to sit down and finish one of the several bisexual and polyamory themed erotica novelettes and novellas I have sketched out or started, let alone start a new one. I'm about to get pretty personal here as I contemplate why, and what I can do about it.
Reason 1 - The Pill: I was on a low-dose birth control pill for 11 years. The good: it prevented pregnancy, decreased my period and PMS symptoms and helped with acne. The bad: it absolutely murdered my libido. It's a wonder I even started writing erotica at all, given my actual desire for sex. Being able to express the full spectrum of my sexuality with my stable male partner and our female partners helped, but after 11 years I decided enough was enough and talked to my doctor about an alternative last fall.
Reason 2 - The IUD: Last October I decided to get an IUD (before everyone started talking about getting them because of the election results.) I was absolutely terrified, as I've had a few friends who had issues with them. I knew other women who had no problems at all, so I went ahead with it. My nervousness now seems like a premonition, as I've had a rough go. A pelvic inflammatory infection made me think the thing had perforated me, and while the pain has subsided since then, it still feels like I have cramps every single day. I'm probably getting the darn thing out next week. My worry and the pain have kept me away from any kind of penetration and made me feel decidedly unsexy.
Here are some of the questions that run through my head as I think about how all of this has affected my motivation and ability to write my erotica. I've answered them for myself as well, and if you have any thoughts in response, I'd love to hear them!
- Do I need to be having sex to write about it? Probably not - after all, some of the scenarios I write are based off of real-life events, but others are not.
- Do I need to feel sexy to write erotica? This is trickier. Clearly not feeling sexually motivated has been keeping me from writing, so in theory the answer is yes.
- How can I motivate myself to write? a) Put myself in situations and places that make me feel sexy, even if I'm not going to have sex. A night of clubbing has always been a boost to my sexuality! b) Write non-sexual content when I'm not feeling sexy. This could definitely benefit the length of my pieces! c) Make writing a habit. Schedule a regular time to write, once a day or once a week, so that even if I'm not feeling it, I sit down and do it anyway. d) Give myself incentives. If I'm binge-watching a show, make myself write 500 words before starting the next episode. Go out for frozen yogurt after I hit a goal word count. e) Read my own work! Unless I'm working with my editor, I tend not to re-read my content. Reading through it more often may give me a fresh spark of inspiration.
At the moment, I have two novel-length pieces about half finished, and four short stories in various stages of progress. I'm going to commit to you, my amazing fans, right now that no matter how sexy or unsexy I fee, I will have one of those erotica short stories finished by the end of the month and published on Amazon! Wish me luck...